To pick yourself up means to recover from a problem you are facing.
The problem I am facing is a recurrent issue which I have not been able to fix yet. It causes me to procrastinate, to periodically lose motivation, and to blame others. The latter-most result is synonymous to making excuses. And after some reflecting I realized I tell myself this line quite frequently:
"This problem prevents me from doing work."The self became a problem.
Now, I know the problem has always lied within me. But this realization of myself showed me I am stuck in a negative feedback loop. For a while, I thought my mental blocks were caused by external factors. Below, I list the recent external "excuses", and also prolonged "excuses", that I thought were not allowing me to achieve my goals:
- dependence on family; can't leave the house
- chores around the house
- constant distractions at home
- no independence
Et cetera
By constantly telling myself that these problems prevent me from doing my work, they have become internal "excuses". The constant reminder that I am in a poor environment, that I am achieving less due to my poor disposition, contributes to the negative feedback loop.
Only a gradual change-in-attitude paradigm shift would enable me to exit the negative feedback loop, and a simple way to spark that change is by setting an if-condition. Overall, I want to change from being a person with an external locus of control to a person with a more internal locus of control. This will hopefully increase my motivation, reduce procrastination, and blame others less.
note: I understand I have it better than most people in the World. I write this as a note-to-myself, in case I get mentally stuck and have trouble seeing the World in a positive light. When in doubt, find some alone time, or call out your friends. Be prepared and plan accordingly, so you can be the change you wish to see in the world.
